📖 A Life Worth Reading. Let it NOT be a Rat Race

To simplify it, every single one of us is like a chapter book. Each of us holds a unique story, unfolding one page at a time. The words on our pages are the little mundane things we do every day the choices, the wins, and even the setbacks. 

But the chapters? Those are our purpose. And just like in any good book, our purpose isn’t fixed. It doesn’t stay the same from beginning to end. It shifts, evolves, and sometimes catches us off guard. In one chapter, your purpose might be to learn. In another, to care. In another still, it might be to rest, rebuild, or inspire.

You Thought Finding Your Purpose Would Be One Big Moment

At some point, we all have an inner thought that drives us to improve our lifestyle, or we experience a reality check that shocks us into realizing how much time has passed and how little has been done. Every human wants to feel a sense of purpose, a feeling of being valuable. The majority of us think that if we accomplish X, then we will finally feel a sense of purpose. But I would argue that purpose isn't driven by one single achievement. Rather, it is made up of many components that culminate over time to create a fulfilling life.

There were three major things in my life that I believed would solidify my purpose as a person: having a happy marriage, earning my master's degree, and becoming a mom.

As a child, I saw the unconditional love and devotion my mom gave my dad. It wasn't something that was simply given. It was a lifelong process of support that no school or book could ever teach. I love my mom. She taught me how to love and support the people you care about. In my childlike, hormone-filled teenage brain, I thought this was what life was all about: getting married and creating an unconditional support system where you never needed to escape your reality.

I was elated to meet someone, and soon enough, my dream became my reality. I met my husband, my eternal love. We gave each other an immeasurable amount of support and love. During this time, I was finishing my bachelor's degree and applying to graduate school while he was a self-taught engineer turned startup CEO. I was behind him, in front of him, and beside him, cheering him on through the best and worst days. This was what I had always wanted, a happy, supportive, healthy environment. I had created my own oasis.

However, I found myself wondering, What's next? I had gotten married, and my husband and I were working toward our dreams side by side. Our dreams became one. We wanted each other to feel fulfilled. Yes, I felt supported. I felt happy. But I was scared to admit that I didn't feel fulfilled.

Oh, I know, I thought. Let me get into graduate school.

During my summer Internship in Malaysia.

And so my graduate school journey began.

Graduate school was a journey I will remember forever. Having such a rigorous schedule wasn't fun, but it was one of the most positive experiences of my life because, day in and day out, I was actively building my own sense of purpose. It consumed me entirely. I remember thinking to myself, Surely this will be my purpose.

I received a scholarship, studied abroad during my program, wrote a thesis, and, wow, did I feel accomplished. Unfortunately, during my final semester, COVID-19 was on the rise, and my entire cohort was unable to walk across the stage at graduation. I graduated and began working, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that it still wasn't enough. I felt as though I was made to do more. Maybe it was COVID-19 that made me feel so vulnerable, but I remember thinking, Surely there's more to life than earning a master's degree.

I had received my master's degree, so it felt like the perfect time to begin a new chapter, becoming a mom.

The most challenging and yet the most rewarding experience of my life was becoming a mom. As a mother, you desperately want to become the best version of yourself. Many people nest and prepare everything around them for their precious baby. I did the opposite. I focused on introspection.

I didn't read a single book about becoming a mom or raising a baby. Instead, I read self-help books, psychology, mental health, and religious books. I believed I had to help myself before I could fully help someone who would depend on me completely and wholeheartedly.

Every night, I sat and reflected on the actions I had taken that day, striving to become better the next. I poured my energy into becoming the best version of myself so I could give my child the very best of me.

Then I gave birth.

My daughter became my world. I loved being around her. She was my best friend.

However, I caught myself living in the future.

"When she starts sleeping through the night..."

"When she's older..."

Over time, I realized that I was simply waiting for something else to fulfill my need for purpose because all I was doing was waiting for the next chapter to solidify it. Waiting to get into graduate school. Waiting to have a job. Waiting to have a baby. Waiting for the next milestone, and then the next.

I thought one single accomplishment would be the turning point in my life, the moment when I would finally say, I have found my purpose.

But over time, I realized that no single achievement can carry the weight of your entire purpose.

Purpose is cumulative.

It has multiple facets woven into the ordinary, everyday moments of life. My mistake was believing that purpose would one day arrive. I was waiting for it to happen.

But true purpose is not a final destination. It is the daily implementation of the knowledge, love, and wisdom we acquire throughout our lives.